Twisted and Forgotten
by catcatcatcatcat
Summary: What happens when Shuuhei gets stuck with a possibly psycho woman full of violence? Chaos of course...
1. Chapter 1

Hey Shadoom here! This fanfiction is something that I'm going to _try_ to make over the line of 'acceptable'. The keyword was 'try' so please tell me it sucks so I can stop abusing the innocent eyes of readers and destroy this fanfic. Or perhaps not… Things I own… Absolutely nothing except a broken pen and some sheets of paper.

Twisted and Forgotten

Chapter One: The Tea That Started It All…

Well to tell the truth Shuuhei was not in the best of moods. I mean it's not every day that you're supposed to go fetch tea for your superior. Not when you could have others to do that. And especially not when you're buried in paperwork. And to top it off, _who breaks their arm when they're trying to get a canister of tea for goddamn sake?_ Apparently Shuuhei had achieved all of the above.

No he's not clumsy and no he's not mad but then again no he's not happy either… he's just… calmly walking to the nearest medical center so he could use his arm again. After he's delivered the tea of course. Yamamoto said it was urgent… Okay scratch out the thing where I said he was calm. The fact was Shuuhei is PISSED. Yeah that's right, PISSED! I mean he just looks calm… on the inside he's well… PISSED.

_HOW IMPORTANT IS THIS CAN OF TEA? I BREAK MY ARM, ALMOST RUIN MY REPUTATION WITH ALL THE CUSSING I USED TO VENT MY ANGER AND MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF FOR A CONTAINER OF TEA!!! GOD THIS BETTER BE WORTH IT YAMAMOTO…_

See what I mean by pissed?

_WHY COULDN'T HE ASK HIS OWN SUB COORDINATE TO GET THE TEA? AND WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE TEA FROM KOMAMURA? WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT IT? AND WHY ME?_

And that is how we find him storming into the office of the first captain with a broken arm.

Yamamoto looked up from the documents as he noticed Shuuhei come in. Well actually he noticed Shuuhei a mile back when he fell from the top shelf of Komamura's storage house cursing so loudly that he could have possibly been heard outside of Rukongai perhaps… That was one of the other many reasons why Yamamoto didn't like getting the tea himself. "You can set the tea down on the desk and go get that arm checked up on…"

Shuuhei's calm exterior could've fooled anyone into the exact opposite on what he was thinking.

… _No thank you? Not even a hint of thanks? AFTER ALL THAT TROUBLE I WENT THROUGH… FOR A CAN OF TEA NONE THE LESS? OLD BASTARD… Oh and go get that arm checked up on… IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED YET I'M VIRTUALLY DROWNING IN PAPER WORK AND IT'S ALL YOUR STINKIN FAULT!!!_

But Shuuhei being polite nodded, left behind the tea and walked out of the room as fast as possible.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Shuuhei grimaced as he found himself in the fourth company being treated. Apparently his arm was not only broken but was also oozing out a foul looking yellow pus. And no one in the ninth company was willing to touch it. Hell they didn't even want to look at it! Yeah… it was that bad… And now he was being treated with an even more foul looking and smelling ointment to stop the pus.

"Consider yourself lucky… Unlike that shinigami over there. She's a frequent visitor here. She's accident prone apparently…" The shinigami applying the balm on his arm laughed as he pointed to the soul reaper next to them who was trying to get out of a pair of heavy iron shackles.

Shuuhei raised an eyebrow. "Why is she chained down?"

"Because she has very poor health and hates getting injected. Personally I don't blame her seeing as how many shots she gets a week but once she went and severely injured three of us so we do this for our own personal safety."

"Shut up… I just don't like hospitals…" The raven haired girl snarled at him.

"And you wouldn't end up in them if you didn't purposely jump off cliffs…" The shinigami looked up at her, "Your lucky you got away with a few cracked ribs…"

"…" Her gold eyes just glared at him as if he had just eaten a piece of elephant crap and asked her if she wanted some.

"She jumped off a cliff?" Shuuhei asked in disbelief.

"Well this time it was a bridge but she jumped all the same…"

"But she jumped intentionally?" When the both shinigami nodded he looked at her with surprise and asked, "Are you crazy?"

The shinigami treating him winced. "I wouldn't have asked that…"

Shuuhei was about to ask why when he received a sharp kick in the groin. He also didn't see her clenched fist snake out from the folds of her robes as it went and socked him in the nose. There was no doubt that it was broken.

And thus that was the beginning of their beautiful friendship.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

So what do you think? I know it's short but this is just the first chapter so yeah. And tell me if I messed up somewhere…- Shadoom


	2. Chapter 2

Life is a gullible thing that we take just for granted…I own absolutely nothing except a broken pen and some sheets of paper.

Twisted and Forgotten 

_Chapter Two: Voodoo Dolls_

"Why'd you go and provoke her?" Asked the shinigami who was treating him. Shuuhei cradling his bleeding and broken nose found out that his name was Ibarra Reigo. Unfortunately Shuuhei found out the hard way that fourth division soul reapers had the power _and_ the time to lecture the Hell out of you.

"Why? It only means more work for us! Do you think we like our lives like this? Do you? Do you? While you go around killing people _we _get surrounded with the dead corpses! While you go around breaking bones it's _us_ who has to go fix them! You'd be nowhere with out us!" Apparently Reigo was annoyed that he also had to go fix not only Shuuhei's arm but also his nose. Oh and perhaps the fact that his other patient ran away by ripping the chains out of the wall didn't help either.

"It's nod like I knuw…" Shuuhei made a sad attempt to say 'It's not like I knew'. You see it's harder to speak with a broken nose…

"WHY'D YOU THINK SHE'S CHAINED DOWN???"

"Well it's nod like I knuw she could rib out chains fromb walls!

"True I didn't know that either… Well next time don't do it again…" That was all the advice Reigo could give him when he pushed Shuuhei outside. Clearly he wasn't welcome…

_Trust me I don't intend to…_

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX 

Shuuhei walked into the first captain's office not looking happy at all. No not at all…

_What the Hell does he want with me now?_

As if reading his mind Yamamoto suddenly answered the question that was echoing in his mind. "I'm sticking you with a Shinigami that needs to be tamed… or at least teach her some manners… And yes you are quite capable of this."

Great! Now he wants me to go baby sit someone… 

"And just who am I supposed to be 'stuck' with?"

Yamamoto smiled while grimacing at the same time, "Well she doesn't know she's going to be 'stuck' with you and I think you might find a whole lot of information form her nickname which is 'Hellcat'…"

"And where is she?"

"She should be here soon…"

"SORRY I'M LATE!" And then a very disheveled shinigami with a hooded shihakushô

ran in, looking as if she had ran around the world and back five times at top speed.

Shuuhei stared… No today was definitely NOT his day… For there, standing in front of him was… THE ONE WHO BROKE HIS NOSE!!!

He took a good look at her this time because the last time she ran off before he decided to pay attention to her. She had dark wavy hair with two thick streaks bleach grey hair. Her tawny almond eyes accented not only her face but also her nickname as they danced around with curiosity. A sharp nose, a small mouth that smirked slightly, a pair of skeletal hands with long slender fingers and a zanpaku-to at the side of her slim waist. She also had a pair of silver cuffs on her thin wrists.

_No doubt that they're gifts from the fourth company…_ Shuuhei thought dryly to himself.

He was restraining himself with a massive effort on confronting/ punching her at the moment. But then his manners kicked in, "Shuuhei Hisagi, Ninth company, pleased to meet you."

She looked at him up and down and then smiled sweetly, "Anjyl Komicana, Fear me…" She also had an evil glint in her eyes…

_I see what Yamamoto meant in 'manners'…_

"Anjyl you are going to be helping vice captain Hisagi with his duties such as… paperwork."

"I am?" Shuuhei checked her face… Yep the evil glint was still there.

"Yes you are."

"And why is that?" Shuuhei decided to cut in before this small argument turned into a war.

"Because you yourself were complaining about how you were sinking in paperwork."

And that was the end of that.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Remind me why I'm here again?" Anjyl asked at around two a.m. furiously filling out reports with a close to breaking pen.

"You're filling out paperwork because the first captain---" Shuuhei also scribbling down reports when he was cut off.

"---Is a bastard… I know." Anjyl suddenly looked in disgust at her hand. " Ugh… my hand feels like breaking off. Waitaminute… why'd the hell does a _vice-captain­ _have _more _paperwork than a_ captain_?"

"What do you mean 'more'? You're not a captain now are you?"

"Yeah but Komamura tai-chou makes me do his paperwork so yeah…"

_What the Hell? She's shows more respect to the seventh captain than the first?_

"He makes you do _his_ paper work?"

"Yeah, you got a problem with that?"

Shuuhei furrowed is brow as he stared at her in incredulity. "Who the Hell do you think you are?"

"Uh… I dunno… perhaps I'm ME!" She glared at him. By now Shuuhei was used to it being stuck in the same room as her for around ten hours.

"Okay let's set down some ground rules… I am a vice captain, you… are not… Now we will settle our differences seeing as I am higher ranking and you are getting on my nerves which is not a good thing."

"Higher ranking, my ass…" Anjyl muttered and then scowled as the pen in her hand snapped. "TOO HELL WITH THIS! I'm leaving for the moment so don't do anything stupid okay? Okay." She threw down the pen on the floor as she ran out of the paper filled room.

_Don't do anything stupid? Who's watching who here?_

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Shuuhei was losing hope fast. It had been two hours and he was _still _knee deep in paper and they were all due tomorrow. And it didn't help that Anjyl was still out.

_Speak of the devil… there she is._

"Sorry, I was abducted by alien green men who demanded to stick drugs in me so I wouldn't tell the world about their hideously evil and horrendous secrets." Anjyl told him as she slid into her seat with a pen and started scrawling down things.

"… Was that the best excuse you could make? Because that sucked…"

"That was not an excuse… that was the truth…"

"And pigs fly."

"Do I detect sarcasm? And besides that was the truth well except maybe the alien green men were actually fourth company members… heh heh…"

"And just what are their 'hideously evil and horrendous secrets'?"

"That they go around abducting people, giving them unknown drugs, say it's perfectly safe when really it doesn't look or taste safe, and that they play with dolls."

"WHAT?"

"Yeah they give people drugs. Why is that so hard to believe?"

"No… the part about the dolls… Where the Hell did you get that from?"

"Oh… they play with voodoo dolls of the captain/ vice captains. The resemblance is freaky."

"WHAT THE HELL? WHY DO THEY DO THAT? AND WHATEVER GAVE THEM THAT IDEA?"

"They do that to 'vent' their anger and I think it they got it from their captain, Unohana."

"WHAT THE BEEP?"

"Well they don't have dolls of Isane or Unohana in their little collection but… You are definitely there so don't ask."

They continued to work quietly and then suddenly—

"Which doll is used the most?"

"Why? OH NO? YOU'RE NOT GOING TO START TOO?"

"NO! I'm just curious that's all."

"Well uh… let me think… I think it was either Aizen, Gin or Tousen… I mean those three did make them go through a lot of grief. No it was definitely Aizen."

Shuuhei stiffened slightly at the name of his former captain.

"Oh I forgot he was your captain right?"

"What do you think?"

"Okay… okay… no need to get touchy…" She said with a touch of hurt.

"Just shut up okay."

CRACK. She decked him in the nose again. Yes she had a nice calm sarcastic side to her but she also had her own violent deadly psychotic side as well. Shuuhei sighed as he stood up and left the room for another lecture from Hell.

"GO SCREW YOUR SELF!" She yelled after him.


	3. Chapter 3

Is Death our curse or is it our savior? I own absolutely nothing except a broken pen and some sheets of paper.

Twisted and Forgotten 

_Chapter Three: _

"WHY THE HELL---" Reigo stared at Shuuhei. Shuuhei groaned inwardly. Just his luck. He was the one being stuck with the almighty lecturer. But apparently Reigo is at a loss for words. "WHO THE HELL---"

"It was your little friend whom you abducted I think around an hour ago." Shuuhei couldn't look at him right. Not after what he found out about what the fourth company did in its spare time.

"What friend?"

"You know the one with the hobby of jumping off cliffs and punching people in the nose. Mainly me."

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO PROVOKE HER!!!" Reigo's voice rang across the room.

"I didn't…"

"So what caused her to punch you? Because Anjyl won't attack someone as long as they leave her alone."

"I told her to shut up. There happy now?"

"WHY IN GOD'S NAME DID YOU SAY THAT?"

"…"

"Why in the first place were you two in the same room?"

"I'm stuck with her for who knows how long because of the first captain…"

"Oh. So you're another one. Bet you won't last a week."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"Okay let me explain. Anjyl being so… violent needs to be watched at all times. In the past year she's gone through I think fifteen different people and they all ran away from her screaming after I think two days. Now you being a vice captain I'm sure you'll have much more will power."

"So… Any advice?"

"She doesn't care about ranks or titles. If you want her respect… earn it." And with that Shuuhei was yet again unceremoniously pushed out the door.

Shuuhei decided that since it had only been five minutes and Anjyl had taken around a hundred and twenty, he would go visit some people and try to get some advice.

An hour later and Shuuhei had only learned five things.

Don't get her wet.

Don't get her pissed.

Don't make her hang out with annoying little kids.

Don't make any major changes.

And

Don't draw blood.

The main thing was that Shuuhei was heading back when he heard someone saying in an utterly serious voice. "If you want to talk than shut up and go find someone else. As you can see I'm currently debating whether to beat you up or to tell you to shut up again."

And when he turned around who would he see but Anjyl? Yeah that's right and this time she was mouthing off Yachiru. Now we all know that Yachiru could probably be able to beat up at least three quarters of the people in Soul Society.

Shuuhei was amused trying to see who would win, the hyper active little girl with inhumane strength or the oh so violent, temperamental shinigami. His money was on Yachiru but then to his surprise Yachiru backed down. "I'm sorry Anjyl chan… but could you please tell me which way is north?"

An anime sweat drop appeared on Anjyl's head. "That's all you wanted? For god sake go find a compass Yachiru chan."

"I did."

"So where the Hell is it?" Anjyl looked impatient.

"I chewed on it. Than it broke."

"Oh me gee… North… uh…" Anjyl looked up at the sky and thought about it. "It's that way." She told Yachiru this while pointing at the direction of north. Anjyl pointed at a wall with a hole in it and almost everybody in the eleventh company knew what was behind that wall…

"Okay. Thanks Anjyl!" Yachiru headed off in that direction. Apparently Yachiru was one of the few who did not.

"That was so cruel… And don't you still have paper work to do?" Shuuhei inquired as he approached.

"Well she asked me which way was north! And anyways I don't any paper work. You do. But since I'm such a nice person and I was in a good mood I decided to finish it for you… But we have to go pick it up and deliver it because you see I was too lazy to so yeah…"

"… You—" When suddenly he remembered number two on the list of don'ts.

_2. Don't get her pissed._

"Do you think you could overpower Yachiru in a fight?" He asked instead.

"HELL NO! She's got freakin' super powers! She's so dammit hyper!"

They started walking back to the room full of paper work. "So why in god's name is she scared of you?"

"Cuz' I beat her in a fight. Oh and then I beat the shit out of Zaraki." They turned the corner.

"But you just said she could over power you in a fight!"

"Exactly. In matters of strength she'd win. It matters if whether I'm pissed as Hell or not. It also matters if I'm as drunk as the devil or not."

"You were drunk?"

"No but I was as pissed as yesterdays Mafia gangsters." She opened the door, thought about something and then suddenly looked at Shuuhei. "Do you consider yourself idiotic?"

"What?" Shuuhei asked sharply as he hauled a pile of reports up.

"You know… as in moronic, dumb, stupid…" She trailed off.

_Is this some kind of a test?_

"I don't consider myself smart…"

"Tch. Low self esteem. Very bad."

"I NEVER SAID I CONSIDERED MYSELF DUMB EITHER!"

Anjyl fell silent at this. And then quietly, "Do you consider yourself a killer or a savior?"

"I consider myself as both."

"Do you think life is fair?"

"No. Life never was and never will be fair."

"Do you think Tousen left because he wanted to?"

Something in Shuuhei twinged. "Stop asking awkward questions okay."

"You suck."

"Don't we all?"

"What do you think of hollows?"

"I told you not to ask awkward questions!"

"That question is strictly diplomatic."

Shuuhei sighed. " I think they're poor souls with no one to love them."

"That was way too sappy for my taste."

"You have special needs."

"What about those people who sacrifice themselves?"

"They're all cold hearted bastards… with the exception of one or two."

"What do you think of people who are cursed?"

"I think they don't waste their life times asking weird questions."

"You'd be amazed."

"Are you a demon?"

"What do you think?"

"What should I think?"

"What do you think you should think?"

"What do you think?"

"Why the Hell am I talking to you?"

"I don't know. Why are you talking to me?" Shuuhei retorted as they reached they finished dumping the rest of the papers.

And then it came suddenly. Her fist flew out of nowhere as she hit him in the nose.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?"

"Because I felt like it."


	4. Chapter 4

Live every moment like your last… You never know when it will be. I own absolutely nothing except two broken pens and some sheets of paper.

Twisted and Forgotten 

_Chapter Four: I really, REALLY hate you _

Shuuhei has now come back from Hell. (A.K.A. Fourth Company)

_I now know for a fact that my nose will never feel the same. Never again._

Apparently Reigo decided to punish Shuuhei this time and stuck some _thing_ up his broken nose. And it was certainly not pleasant.

"HELL YEAH! WE GONNA PARTY!" And when Shuuhei turned his head he saw one of his friends, Matsumoto. But if she was going to throw a party, which was not a good thing, it was pretty obvious that she would get drunk and then she would try to hook up with some unknown, unsuspecting guy.

Hitsugaya fortunately agreed with that fact. "And why is the reason that you're going to party?"

"IT'S BECAUSE…hic… BECAUSE…hic…"

"Yes?" Hitsugaya pushed on. Shuuhei winced. Apparently Matsumoto was _already_ drunk.

"Because it's…hic…" Well at least she stopped yelling. "You know how there was that freak that came to Sereitei? You know the suicidal one that somehow ended up being…hic…a shinigami in the seventh company?" Matsumoto prodded through Hitsugaya's memory because he didn't seem to remember. "You know… hic… the one who threw… hic… threw you off a… hic… a wall?

"Oh… yes…Anjyl Komicana. What about her?" Hitsugaya didn't seem to like remembering the mentioned experience.

"Well Yamamoto decided to assign…hic… someone to have her tag along with because she was…hic… such a nuisance. But she's gone through at least five different people and Yamamoto decided he might…hic… assign a vice captain/ captain this time. Luckily some other…hic… poor sap got saddled with her."

"So who's the lucky duck?"

"Uh…hic…Shuuhei…I think…hic…"

"Poor guy. Remind me why she's a freak again?

"Well…hic…" Shuuhei listened more closely to this. "…Yamamoto decided …hic… not to…hic… tell us…hic… I think Komamura…hic… knows…" Shuuhei grimaced. Matsumoto was hiccupping more. God was she drunk! "But she's…hic… different…hic… She was offered…hic… _offered_ the position…hic… the position of eleventh…hic…captain…hic…but she refused…"

Shuuhei's eyes slightly narrowed at this information. Who the Hell did Yamamoto stick him with?

"And…hic… she…hic…can throw…hic… Komamura…hic… into a wall …hic… she does…hic…it every day… hic…the wall normally…hic…breaks…"

"Ah. So that's why there is a mass quantity of walls in the seventh company."

"SO…hic…THAT'S WHY I'M THROWING A PARTY!"

"Something tells me you're going to get a massive hangover in the morning." Hitsugaya replied as he shook his head.

Shuuhei decided to leave and collect his thoughts at this newfound information. But he didn't notice that he wasn't the only the one eavesdropping. If he looked closely he would've seen a pair of slitted gold eyes in the shadows.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

And this is where we find Shuuhei talking to Komamura.

"So why did you want me Shuuhei? I do hope it's not for more tea because that certainly isn't urgent. And I don't think it's that healthy either." Komamura looked at him with a spark of humor in his voice.

"No…it's something else…"

"Good. I realized a few days ago that you had quite a colorful vocabulary." Komamura's eyes had the slightest trace of laughter.

"Actually it has to do with Anjyl Komicana." Shuuhei decided to put it bluntly.

"What about her?" Komamura suddenly lost all humor in his stance. "If this is a complaint I'm afraid I can't do anything."

"No but… Okay let's keep this straightforward. Who is she? Or better yet… What is she?"

"Of what importance is this information to you?"

"Well considering that she's broken my nose at least three times and I'm stuck with her. Oh and my groin doesn't feel quite right either."

"So? Why do you need to know?"

"If I'm stuck with her I do want to know how to not injure or kill myself in the process."

"She's done worse." Komamura looked away with a dark look.

"What could be worse?"

"We'll just put it this way… She's a master of a darker kido. Much darker."

"How does she achieve the level of a captain?"

"She's achieved Bankai if that's what you're asking."

"Do you know the form of her zanpaku-to?"

"Hardly anyone has seen it and those who have aren't alive. Her name on the battlefield is…"

"Yes?" Shuuhei poked forward.

Komamura's voice dropped to a low whisper. "The Grim Reaper."

A wave of nausea flew down Shuuhei. He shook the thought out of his head and pushed on. "Is it true that she throws you at a wall everyday?"

"Eh? You heard about that?" Komamura scratched his head sheepishly. "Yes it's true."

"So…why did she decline the offer of eleventh captain?"

"I don't know… She doesn't like major changes… You'll have to ask her…"

"Or maybe she's just stubborn as she is violent."

"Agreed." They both laughed together. Shuuhei could see how Tousen had to like the man. He was instantly likable. He had a joking end but he commanded a certain level of respect and all of the punishments in the seventh company were reasonable. He saw why Anjyl respected him. Reigo's words echoed back to him as Komamura and him talked.

_If you want her respect… earn it. _

And the beast/man had certainly earned it. Beyond his gruff looking exterior he had a kind heart that actually _cared_ on what was going on with his subordinates. Very few captains did that.

Shuuhei found himself feeling as if somehow Komamura and him had some bond. Both of them had been betrayed by Tousen and both had placed all their trust in Tousen.

"Well Shuuhei… Why do you want to know what Anjyl is?"

"Because well…" 

Komamura smiled. "Be honest."

"Fine, fine! I'm nosy."

Komamura raised his eyebrows. "Well there's an honest answer… This may take a while to explain.

" Anjyl is not… human. Well she's half human but all the same. When she first came to Sereitei she was a shy little mouse. Never outspoken. More meek than rebellious. She was the average kind of shinigami. They were thinking about letting the fourth company take her."

"I can just imagine." Shuuhei dryly replied as he pictured Anjyl sticking pins in voodoo dolls.

Komamura chuckled and then continued. "But then she went missing for two months. And after that she was…changed. You'd have to ask her to find out what happened. But the day that she came back three shinigami of the eleventh company were found dead, hung by their necks with the crows picking their eyes out."

"That's nice to know…" Shuuhei responded a tad disgusted at Komamura's description.

There was a crash and both of them turned to see Anjyl glaring at them clutching a piece of what looked like door in her shaking hands.

"You told him didn't you?" Her voice was quiet, filled with fury. Her hands clenched and the board disintegrated into dust. "You said you wouldn't! Here I was thinking that you could be trusted, here I was thinking that you were to be respected. But I was wrong wasn't I?" Her voice shook with rage and her amber eyes narrowed. "But don't worry! I don't matter do I? No one in the world gives a damn about how I feel! I'm just a piece of dirt you can kick around! People don't bother me because they're scared! But it doesn't matter! Just shows how much I hate family! Because I really,_ REALLY _hate you!"

With that she turned around and left.

Shuuhei turned to Komamura. "Family?"

Komamura grimaced slightly. "She's my niece through law. In other words she's the daughter of my distant cousin who had a weak and feeble mind."

"Had?"

"Yeah. Anjyl killed him."

"Oh…"

"I would like you to keep quiet about our relationship though…"

"Oh don't worry. So what do we do with her?"

"Let her cool down. I'm guessing she had to blow off some steam."

"Oh…"

"…"

"…"

"…" 

"…"

Komamura stood up and yawned. "It's getting awfully dull."

"Did I ever tell you about what the fourth company does in their spare time?"


	5. Chapter 5

Fear me when I'm quiet, not when I am loud. Okay maybe I lied. I own a computer with Internet access and a ton of other junk. BUT THAT IS ALL.

Twisted and Forgotten 

_Chapter Five: Loose Lips_

_So? Why the Hell am I her babysitter? Why me? WHY ME? WHY? WHY WHY WHY? SHE'S A FRICKEN KILLER! SHE DOESN'T NEED A CARETAKER! SHE NEED'S AN ARMY! SHE A DAMMIT MENTAL WARD PATIENT!_

Shuuhei was fuming inside. Why? Because he had found out that there is a killer on the loose and _he_ was responsible for her. And what's worse is that she's most likely as pissed as Hell. Which is a bad thing if you didn't know. And what made it even worse was the fact that _he_ had to find her and she was nowhere to be found.She could be killing someone right now this very minute!

And as he turned the corner he accidentally hit someone. Automatically he muttered an apology.

"What for? Finding out how to ruin my life again?" Shuuhei looked up to find that he had unintentionally found the person he was looking for. Just when he was about to say something she turned away and stalked off. "Forget it. Everything you say would pretty much be a lie because isn't that what life is? Some big chess game where someone moves the pieces? And when you think you're the king are you really or are you just a pawn?"

"That was a great emo speech. Except I'm not lying when I say this… All pawns can become queens. You just have to try. Now before you go on some long diatribe on how I'm such a smart ass please just try and not kill or harm anyone."

"What do you mean emo—And I am too trying! And… ARRGH! You've messed up my way of thinking!"

"Good that was the point."

WHAM! "Well you got to give me credit for trying…" She told Shuuhei who was clasping his now bleeding nose. She walked off.

XxXxX

"I'm not even gonna ask about what happened this time." Reigo informed Shuuhei as he poked, no _jabbed_ him with a very long pair of pincers.

"Well you could give me a tad more information on her! Maybe you wouldn't see me as much if you did!"

"Hmmm really? In that case… HERE!" Reigo dragged a heavy stack of folders and pushed them outside with Shuuhei.

"Ungrateful little…"

XxXxX

As Shuuhei opened the first folder he saw something that caught his eye. "Hmmm… interesting…"

**Anjyl Komicana** **Company: Seventh**

**Zanpaku-to: Akumakaijin (Demon Ash) **

**Age: 16 in human years**

He went on reading about her picking up on her background information.

Background: Anjyl Komicana is fearsome fighter but tends to forget her zanpaku-to and is almost never seen with it. She calls it dead weight. She mainly focuses on speed and has already achieved Bankai. She came to Sereitei due to the fact of her large amount of spiritual energy.

So basically she's not dead… 

**Her father was the great Magnar Ibarra (Zankoku na Arashi) whose files were destroyed in the fire. Her mother was Saralee Thorn (Suzame Zoge), dearly departed, both supposedly assassinated by Anjyl. **

Ibarra… where have I heard that name? 

She also has one brother, Reigo Ibarra (Kemono no Tora), who is currently serving in the fourth company. Komamura (Ten Ken), Eighth captain, is her distant uncle. Others in her family are either unimportant or unknown.

_Wow… who would have known? _

**She has mastered kido quite quickly and has brought it up to a higher level due to her disability. She cannot stand in direct sunlight for too long. She has been able to beckon shadows to her call making her a formidable opponent. **

… _I'm kinda scared… No wonder no one wants to get her pissed…_

**Two years ago she disappeared for two months. Oddly enough when she came back three shinigami of the eleventh company were hung on a tower at the same time. The subject also supposedly assassinated them. **

**She has only one major fear and it is to arrancar.**

Shuuhei stopped reading at this point as he saw that there was no point on reading on since the rest of the files probably said just as much. Or perhaps it was just her criminal record?

_If it is I don't want to know…_

XxXxX

"I don't… I don't think I'll make it this time…" Anjyl looked at her brother.

"Ha hah. Very funny. Of course you'll make it! Considering that was just my cooking you ate! You always do."

"No… I'm dying… I think it was something I ate…"

"Well face it at least you're not puk—" Reigo stopped short as he watched his sibling run out of the room looking green.

When Anjyl emerged still looking a tad green Reigo just laughed sheepishly. "I guess I spoke too soon…heh…"

"SHADDAP!" Anjyl glared at him furiously. "Anyways why didn't you accept the promotion?"

Reigo smiled back at her. "Why didn't you accept _your_ promotion?" His grin widened as he saw that Anjyl was about to explode with negative energy. "I just love being your older brother…" He raised a hand as he saw Anjyl readying herself for a punch. "By the way, how are things going with Shuuhei?"

"HE'S A STINKIN TARD!"

"Um…ok? Care to explain further?"

"He and Komamura tai-chou are both turd nuggets. End of story."

"I don't think so… Does he suspect?"

"Suspect what? That I'm a _Talamourian_? Oh don't worry no one suspects you… You're lucky… no one's trailing behind you now are they?"

"Look no one would be following you if you weren't so violent anyways please expand."

"Look… _Your_ stupid uncle has a loose lip and has told my _babysitter_ half of what I am!"

"Oh… erm… That's kinda awkward…"

"NO YOU THINK? Awkward my ass!"

"Erm…"

"BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER! BECAUSE NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT ME!"

"So-o how's your little experiment going?" Reigo desperately tried to change the subject.

"It's failing. I still can't stand the direct heat of the sun and I'm always so _cold_…"

"One day Anjyl… One day we won't be cursed any more… but for now…" Reigo jabbed a needle into the back of the Hellcat's neck.

"…YOU FILTHY LITTLE TRAITOR!"

XxXxX

Shuuhei decided that if there was something called foolishness then it would look like him. Why did he just run around Sereitei trying to figure out how he could find an arrancar?

Stupid much?

"ARRGH IT BURNS! THE WATER IT BURNS!"

"THEY'RE JUST FREAKING EYE DROPS KID! HOLD THE FRIG STILL!"

"EYE DROPS ARE FOR EYES NOT ARMS!"

Shuuhei decided to investigate. After all those two voices sounded mighty familiar.

Sure enough on the scene was Anjyl and…

"Zaraki?" Shuuhei poked his head out around the corner.

The eleventh captain looked up and exchanged greetings with Shuuhei when he was suddenly tackled down. He immediately threw her off.

"C'mon kid you've got to have more fight then that? God I can't believe I was supposed to be your successor. Show me some power!" The now blood thirsty captain stared into the dust when-

"You want power?" An arm flew out with enough force to break Zaraki's neck. And then three knives flew at their intended target.

But Zaraki just stood there. "I know your specialty Komicana." He called out in the rubble. "Illusions won't do you any good." The knives went right through Zaraki. "Let me guess. You learn that from your brother?"

"No." A barrage of blades flew at Zaraki. "But this I did!"

Shuuhei saw that some knives this time were real. Thinking it was an illusion would be fatal. "Zaraki!"

Too late. The man wasn't there but the blood was.

"Ha ha ha… I wouldn't expect any less from the leader of the assassin corps." Zaraki stumbled out with blood spurting from various wounds.

_Assassin corps?_

"Hey Shuuhei! Do me a favor and get these eye drops in her eyes." Zaraki started ripping out the paper-thin knifes from his chest. "Yachiru! Hold her down."

He tossed a small vial filled with opaque red liquid to Shuuhei. Yachiru leapt from one of the higher rooftops.

"OH MY GOD! I DON'T NEED FREAKIN EYE DROPS! JUST BECAUSE I STABBED MYSELF IN THE EYE WITH A KNIFE DOESN'T MEAN A THING! I MEAN GOD WHO- you know what… I don't even care anymore." She sat down and watched the idiots progress below.

Yachiru started to whack the older girl with her zanpaku-to while giggling. Anjyl calmly stood up again with vein throbbing in her forehead and drew out a slender sickle like blade. "Shriek Akumakaijin…"

The blade quickly became a giant scythe and the two metal cuffs on her wrists started forming curved blades on the side.

"Now. If you want to back away slowly you can do so right now."

_I never thought about this before but her hands seem very… thin… Perhaps she was anorexic before she came here? According to files she'll harm anyone who as much as flirts with her. What a shame – WAITAMINUTE! What the hell am I thinking? Me. Her. ARRGH! MY BRAIN!_

"No one? You sure? Okay. Well too late to back out now! Wait… Are you feeling alright splatter face?" Anjyl and Yachiru peered over to see Shuuhei clutching his head.

_No! No! What I mean is that it's a shame that she doesn't have a boyfriend or a husband to keep her under control. Yeah. That's it. _

"Are. You. Oh. Kay?" A pair of gold eyes popped right into Shuuhei's vision.

He just stood there staring right back at her. "Could you not do that? There _is_ something called personal space you know."

"Maybe he's PMS'ing Kenny…" Yachiru's childish voice echoed through the laughter of Anjyl.

"PM… S?" Zaraki looked very… confused. Shuuhei knew what they were talking about and he didn't want to join in their oh so wonderful conversation.

And then it just… it just… just _happened._

Yachiru was just walking explaining to Kenny what Nanao had explained to her. And Anjyl was _still _in his face laughing.

"You're quite attractive when you smile." It just slipped out. And now Shuuhei knew he was in for quite a beating from this when-

Yachiru pushed him from behind and _somehow_ they ended up locking lips.

Now it was Zaraki laughing.

_Shit._

Now Shuuhei was expecting a very certain death.

_Double_ _shit._

"Am I glad I have Akumakaijin out…" Anjyl had a look of utmost bloodlust frozen on her face.

_Freaking shit of the gods._


End file.
